Unresolved issues

Today I made a booking to see a neurologist - finally. The appointment is for February 28. Should have done this a long time ago. But before we get to that, I was telling the story of how it all started.

So, back in October 2006 when I first learned that I had TN, after a week or so, the pains went away again. And so once more I didn't make a big fuss about it when I saw the doctor for my regular check-up. Big mistake. But you feel rather stupid saying "Well, I had this pain that was triggered by a drop of water hitting my nose, but it has gone now".

Somehow, you feel awkward telling anyone about this excruciating pain that has no apparent external cause, because you feel as if they're going to look at you as if you're crazy. You feel as if they're saying "Yes - it's all in your head - maybe you should see a psychiatrist instead of a doctor".

I have often wondered how close to the truth this is. At the end of 2006, a colleague and good friend came to visit. I was telling him about my facial pains one day and he commented "Unresolved issues mate" (he is Australian). His point was that many of our physical health problems have their origins in mental and emotional states. His theory for these pains of mine was that I had unresolved issues that must be worked through before I could hope to get any release from the pain. Of course, he knew that I was going through a marriage break-up at the time - so one can see how he would arrive at that conclusion.

Strange thing is - that is exactly how it seemed to play out. By December, my wife and I had agreed an amicable separation. And the pains stopped ... or so I thought.