The MRI scan

Monday - MRI-day!!

My MRI scan was scheduled for 9.00am. I thought I might go on from there into the office as I felt fairly good.

I was apprehensive about the MRI scan of course. Wasn't sure what to expect. I visualised that I would be almost totally enclosed by the machine. But that wasn't the case. They provide a mirror above you so that you can see out of the scanner into the room, and through the window where the medical staff are. That's good coz it makes you think you have lots of space whereas in reality your head and shoulders are really enclosed in a little area. They provide ear plugs coz of the noise of the scanner.

They did a scan for about 30 minutes, during which time I actually just about went to sleep. The scanner stopped - but they left me lying in the MRI. Then I saw the female medic pointing to the screen and discussing with another male medic. Then they came in and the medic said they wanted to give me an injection of something to make the image of whatever they had found clearer on the scanner. I could hardly hear what they were saying coz of the ear plugs. So then I had another 15 minutes of scanning.

I was hoping that this scan would indicate exactly where the blood vessel was pressing on the trigeminal nerve. I was fairly sure that nothing else would be found. But during the scan, I had a bad feeling about it - the way they pointed at the computer screen and talked animatedly and then came to give me the injection of the contrast dye before doing another scan. I was now certain they had found something. Most likely a tumour.

Strange how when you think of a brain tumour, you immediately think of a cancerous one and immediately think the worst.

I didn't go into the office afterwards. During the afternoon I got more and more depressed. I walked on the beach and asked why this should happen to me now. Just when I had finally found happiness in a wonderful relationship, why should it be snatched away? I realised that I was starting to wallow in self-pity, so I decided to do a web search of the things they might have found.

I guess trying to self-diagnose using the Internet and based on little evidence is not always a good idea. In my case I felt much more positive about my future after I had done my search. It seemed to me that given all my symptoms, if I did have a tumour, then it was likely to be an acoustic neuroma - a benign tumour that causes deafness (which I certainly had in my right ear) and in some cases can cause TN.

This made me feel much better....